Nagging, in interpersonal communication, is repetitious behaviour in the form of pestering, hectoring, or otherwise continuously urging an individual to complete previously discussed requests or act on advice. As expressed by Elizabeth Bernstein, a Wall Street Journal reporter, nagging is “the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed”. Thus, nagging is a form of persistent persuasion that is more repetitive than aggressive and it is an interaction to which each party contributes. Nagging is a very common form of persuasion used in all aspects of life including domestic and professional. It is also a common practice in order to avoid more aggressive persuasive moves like threats.
Whether as a parent, wife or husband, no one starts out wanting to be a nag — it just seems to happen. It may seem like reminding your child to do his homework is a good thing, so why doesn’t it work? Or asking your spouse to do something. Here are some ideas as to why this traditional method of motivation is anything but motivating, and why it may be infact, ruining your relationship.
9. It leads to wariness.
Nagging can cause both parties to question the relationship and make them wary of seeing each other. Instead of being happy and looking forward to each other’s company, you see the other person as a bother who just doesn’t understand.
10. When it comes to kids, nagging models behavior that you probably don’t want to deal with.
After all, nagging is something we can often dish out but not take! If you constantly nag, you may find that your kids begin to communicate with you the same way.
11. Nagging focuses on what a person is not doing.
Once again, it has a negative focus. Nagging points out all the things that are wrong with the person, and implies that he or she is not worthy because he or she has not done certain tasks. Nagging is a way of finding fault, and it tends to wear people down instead of build them up.
So instead of nagging, state the rules clearly and give consequences. This actually gives your child some control, because you make them feel responsible for their own actions too. It is also important to make a commitment to focus on the positive — in other words, catch your child being good. You may be surprised at the results you get from these two small changes you make.
12. It’s just no fun.
Nagging sucks the fun out of your lives together. Just imagine the amount of time and energy expended on nagging and arguing about nagging — wouldn’t you rather have a nice, cozy dinner with your spouse?!