It’s easier if you can just avoid dealing with manipulative people, but when the person in question is your boss, that’s not really possible. If you don’t recognize his pathology and learn to appropriately assert your own boundaries, you’ll lose yourself while attempting to please him.
There are quite a number of reasons why a boss could be manipulative. Sometimes, in order to cope with the rejection of a parent or significant adult in childhood, manipulators construct an environment centered solely upon themselves to meet their personal need for meaning and fulfillment. Nothing else matters!
As an employee that sees them and works with them every weekday, and maybe weekends, you are at the receiving end of all the attitude. Here are a few tips on how to cope with, and handle such manipulative boss.
4. Encourage coworkers and subordinates.
Undoubtedly most employees will feel uncertain of themselves in this type of environment, so they will need encouragement. Be that person. Find something positive to lift their spirits and renew their energy. You may be the only one to share something uplifting to them. Hope is a powerful thing.
5. Keep Your Distance.
This may be a difficult tip to achieve if you are dealing with a manipulative direct supervisor. However, Preston Ni has some advice on the matter.
Watch this person interact with a variety of other people, at least as much as possible. If they seem to have one personality for a specific person, and another for a different person, keep your distance as much as possible. This is a symptom of deep-seated, psychological manipulation. Instead of having a consistent personality, your boss is acting however he deems necessary to get his way.
6. Confront manipulative behavior appropriately.
Unfortunately, a manipulator craves conflict. They live for it! For most of us, however, we would be more than happy to never engage in it. Neither mode is healthy and you need to be willing to engage it when appropriate. In Proverbs 15:1, King Solomon wrote, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. When the time comes to confront your boss, do so privately, calmly and respectfully. Don’t resort to his or her tactics.